| Names that aren't; Add yours today! | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 21 2010, 12:35 PM (1,206 Views) | |
| LoganActor | Jun 21 2010, 12:35 PM Post #1 |
Plays Logan on TV!
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So, there are some "names that are not names". These things came into widespread popular use (in my lifetime) just after I was born, apparently. I have the most boring name ever. It's so average, it's used in conjunction with the word average. Joe. Not Joseph, or Joey, but Joe. Says so on my birth certificate. Maybe that's why these names, which might be actual words, or places, or things, but "which are not names", make me so mad. The following is a partial list of "names that are not names" for males: Aiden Austin (that's a city in Texas, not a boy) Blaire Brackey (the name of my wife's first boyfriend in 4th grade) Colby (a cheese, not a boy, though I have a friend with this name) Campbell (a soup, not a boy) Dillon Dallas (a city in Texas, not a boy) Ellis Emery (something to file your nails with, not a boy) Fisher (someone who catches fish (who may in fact be a boy), not a boy) Finn (something on a fish (who might be caught by a fisher), not a boy) Garrison (a place to keep soldiers, not a boy) Gavin (good for a rock star, not a boy) Hayden (not even good for Darth Vader) Harley (good for a motorcycle, not a boy) The letter I get's skipped, because it's hard to think of any "names that are not names" starting with I. The letter J get's more entries, because my name's Joe and I said so. Jackson (a last name, not a boy) Jayden (fits Will Smith's kid, not yours) Jagger (a rock star's last name, not a boy) Jalen Jameson (a last name, not a boy) Jasper (a rock and a city in Texas, not a boy) Kyle (not a name, though I had a best friend named this) Kaden Leslie (a girl's name, not a boy) Landon Mackenzie Maddison (a square garden, not a boy) The letter N gets skipped, because it's hard to think of any "names that are not names" starting with N. Oakley (sunglasses, not a boy) Olsen (twins, not a boy) Pacey (George Clooney Jr just barely pulled it off, but not a boy) Page (unless he's carrying your lance, not a boy) Quill (a feather pen, not a boy) Reece (a piece, not a boy) Riley Sawyer (a Tom, not a boy) Skylar Tad Tatum Ulysses (only if your kid is an ancient Greek hero, and he's not) Vance Von (okay for the start of your last name, not a boy) Walker (something to put your boy in, not a boy) Wynter (a misspelled season, not a boy) Xerxes (only if your kid is an ancient Persian warlord, and he's not) Xavier (only if your kid is a bald professor in a hover chair, and he's not) Yancy Yogi (only if your last name is Bear, and only then if you want your kid to hate you) Zane Zeke (only if it's shortened from Ezekiel) And that, in part, is a list of "Names that are not names". Apologies in advance to anyone named above. You get a free pass because you're here. Thank you, and goodnight. |
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| Templedog | Jun 21 2010, 01:24 PM Post #2 |
X-Men Chronologist
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When I was teaching I think at top count I had something like 5 Britney's in one class. While not an uncommon name I still thought it was ridiculous. A lot of the odd names I saw made me just shake my head and want to say aloud, "Hey! That is not even a word much less a name!" I even knew a girl named Michael. Not Michelle....Michael. Spelled and pronounced just like the boy's name. I knew a girl named Cherada. Pronounced "Share-A-Duh" I had a student named Trail. Trail, like the woodland path. I have even seen the name Eric spelled A-R-Y-Q. My thought was, "Come on, That is just stupid!!!!!" Edited by Templedog, Jun 21 2010, 01:33 PM.
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| LoganActor | Jun 21 2010, 01:31 PM Post #3 |
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Plays Logan on TV!
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*falls over laughing* Yeah. My mother in law works with a woman named Karen. "Kay-Ron" she calls herself. *sigh* Have a cousin who was almost named, I swear to Stan Lee, Ty Kant Cook. Not Tyler, but Ty. And his middle name is Kant. Seriously? Who names their kid that? |
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| jrpbsp | Jun 21 2010, 01:38 PM Post #4 |
Undisputed Ruler of Comicdom
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One of my step-nephews name is Orien with a middle name, get this Atreyu..yeah like in neverending story. |
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| Templedog | Jun 21 2010, 01:41 PM Post #5 |
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X-Men Chronologist
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I even taught a girl named Ryce. A very sweet girl, but Rice is a food, not a child. My cousin named his daughter, Katana. That is a sword not a name. Plus to name a child after a sword just screams white-trash. Edited by Templedog, Jun 21 2010, 01:44 PM.
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| Templedog | Jun 21 2010, 01:53 PM Post #6 |
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X-Men Chronologist
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I think part of the reason for these weird names is just to mess with teachers, because teachers always mis-pronounce them. Please excuse my vulgarity, but I fully expect one day to see a set of triplets with the names B#tch, Sl^t, and Wh@re; which would be done just to mess with people's minds. |
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| LoganActor | Jun 21 2010, 02:00 PM Post #7 |
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Plays Logan on TV!
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*falls over laughing again* Yeah. Girls names like that kinda bug me too. Autumn, Summer (although Summer Glau (and by extension River Tam) from Firefly totally gets a pass on sheer awesomeness), Spring, Amber, Faith, Rain, Skye. Not sure why but Nature based names like these always make me think of porn star names... Names based on flowers (Rose, Lilly, Violet) get a pass, I think. Ugh...there's a kid named Jayden right in front of me as I type this. *sigh* |
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| Templedog | Jun 21 2010, 02:34 PM Post #8 |
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X-Men Chronologist
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I am ashamed to say that I had the thought to name my son (If I ever had one), Bruce Wayne, or at least Bruce W. This is because I like Bruce Wayne and Bruce Willis; and Bruce W. could count for either. James Logan is a good strong name too. 
Edited by Templedog, Jun 21 2010, 02:37 PM.
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| LoganActor | Jun 21 2010, 06:09 PM Post #9 |
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Plays Logan on TV!
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My wife and I are planning on naming our boys Bradley Wayne (after my brother and her dad) and Logan James (after her brother and her grandpa). I'm excited because of the sheer awesome contained, and almost contained, in those names. Also, Aria Jayne if we have a girl (for the evil computer in Eagle Eye and Jayne Cobb from Firefly), because I'm a nerd like that and I can break my own rules and use Aria (a musical movement) as a name. |
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| Gorvar | Jun 22 2010, 04:11 AM Post #10 |
Self claimed fanfic critic.
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I want to name my kid Logan, it's for both genders as for as I know. |
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