| The Spectacular X-Men; Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Topic Started: Apr 5 2009, 03:05 PM (3,151 Views) | |
| Gorvar | Apr 10 2009, 10:54 AM Post #11 |
Self claimed fanfic critic.
|
It should be postd a bit later today, need to get it edited first ^^ |
 |
 
|
| Templedog | Apr 10 2009, 10:12 PM Post #12 |
X-Men Chronologist
|
working on edit as we speak. I should be up by Sunday at the latest. |
|
|
|
| Gorvar | Apr 12 2009, 11:46 AM Post #13 |
|
Self claimed fanfic critic.
|
i'll put up the un edited version in the mean time. 'Unfinished business' Part 2 of 6. Written by Gorvar Edited by Tempestdog Unique forum Characters created by Tempest dog, Gorvar, Brian Knippenberg and Anne. X-men and other Marvel characters belong to Marvel. Then came a day when a dying race came together and showed the world how one small group of individuals can go out in a ‘Spectacular’ blaze of glory. Team Roster: Anthony Durgrath aka Loam: can turn himself into the element earth. George Gargan aka Time-Warrior: limited manipulation of space and time. Aurick Taylor aka Qwerty: ability to hack and control any computer system. Brooke Davis aka Tranq: can calm down the enemy into a false sense of security. Gabriel Harrison aka Bolgani: can turn into a great white ape. Jason Traq aka Minotaur: can turn into a beast with incredible power. Molly Dylan aka Sprite: can manipulate water. The Marino sister: have a multitude of powers. What happened previously: The Collective, a being come into existence by the results of M-day, has attacked San Francesco to find Colossus. With the other X-men un aviable, it is up to a random group of mutants with three normal X-men and a S.W.O.R.D battle squadron to defend the city and their team-mate. 'Unfinished business' part 2: Exodus. Earth San Francesco, California, Usa X-men HQ. 23.23 local time Now The golden man stared down at colossus, throwing a white gorilla off him. ‘You are the one we seek.’ It said with a monotone voice. ‘What do you want from me?!’ Peter asked, preparing himself. ‘To bring back the mutant race…’ the golden man replied. The Russian X-men blinked at him, but shrugged his head, punching the man on the jaw. ‘You wont take me Tovarsch!’ Brand looked back, seeing her lover and Qwerty putting the big gun in place. ‘What is it your building anyway?’ she asked. ‘It’s a power neutraliser, same like Starktech’s, only more accurate on it’s targets, it should keep the Collective incapacitated for 15 minutes and 14 seconds.’ ‘Actually 15 minutes 13 seconds and 57 milliseconds…’ Qwerty corrected the blue furred X-man. The green haired agent nodded, re-opening fire on the Collective. ‘Do you not understand?’ the Collective grabbed Colossus by his throat, lifting him up in the air. ‘I am saving you.’ ‘At the cost of the human race right?’ Sprite gathered her powers, create long tentacle like water on her arms. ‘If only we had a bucket helmet, a purple cloak and red clothing, and a white wig, I we can dress him up as Magneto.’ Time-Warrior charged at the Collective, slicing it’s arm off which held his team-mate. While Tw grabbed Colossus and ported him somewhere closer to the Hq, Sprite kept the Collective busy with slaps and punches with her tentacles. ‘What about Molten Man, saves the trouble?’ Sprite grinned. ‘Like hell we’re going to rip off one of Spider-man’s baddies.’ Tw replied, helping his team-mate back up. ‘Is he always like that?’ Loam asked Logan, grabbing the smaller man’s back. ‘Pretty much, Throw me.’ Loam nodded, throwing the Canadian at full strength towards the Collective. The golden foe didn’t have enough time to respond, getting knocked over and stabbed in the chest again. ‘Hope you like the pain bub, there’s more comin’ right at ya!’ Logan shouted, retracting his claws and jumping off it. The Collective barely got up as it got hit by a car, exploding on impact. The white gorilla beat his chest with pride, letting out a cry of victory. ‘Marino sisters, do you thing!’ Loam shouted, pointing at the flames. ‘Offcourse.’ The One with long blonde hair said, raising her hands her siblings doing the same. Soon their entire bodies were engulfed by flames. When they let their hands down, they shot three separate plasma bolts, combining together mid way, creating a great plasma bolt, exploding right where the Collective was. ‘Right, you there, beasty boy!’ Loam pointed at Jason. ‘Me?’ Jason pointed to himself. ‘Yes you, help me and Colossus take the building down!’ The monster nodded, running with the two X-men to the building, taking it down with their combined might. The building fell on top of the flames, covering them. ‘Overkill much there Loam?’ George put his katana’s away. ‘Shut up Gargan.’ Loam glared, turning back into his human form. ‘Don’t think that thing will hold him down fer to long ginger.’ Logan grunted, pointing at the already trembling debris. As the golden man got up from the debris, he raised his dismembered arm, the limb coming back to him, ‘gluing’ itself back on. ‘you will come with us one way or a other Peter Rasputin…’ it said, walking slowly towards the X-men. ‘So far for super heroes…’ Brand sighed. ’S.W.O.R.D, open fire!’, she lwoerd her hand at the Collective. The Squadron attack, shooting everything they had from bullets to lasers. George saw the bullets bouncing off the Collective, flying all around. His mind already went to the bystanders, stopping the bullets barely. ‘Guys, get these people out of here!’ he shouted. ‘Bloody disaster tourists…’ Tony mumbled, running off to the bystanders. Sprite raised her hands, wall of water stopping the other weaponry from hurting the bystanders. The bystanders screamed for a moment, then dispersed with a calm pace. ‘Who did…?’ Jason asked himself, but then remembered the young woman whom he left his daughter with a minute or so ago. ‘There…got it’ Qwerty exclaimed with joy. ‘gun is ready Agent Brand, now we only need to hold him down.’ ‘Hold him down with what kid, he’s trashing your team-mates and my troops are getting their a**es handed to them!’ she pointed to the squadron of hover-copter, half of them already crashed around the area or flying away engines burning, hoping to crash somewhere outside of the city. She grabbed the weapon herself.’ I can shoot it, trust me.’ ‘Abigail we only got one chance at this.’ Beast gave it over, pushing In the last buttons.. ‘No pressure at all, right?’ she smirked, aiming the gun at the Collective. With a large BANG the gun shot off it’s loud, making the green haired women fall over. The beam flew at lightspeed towards the being, hitting it straight on. ‘That is a confirmed hit, repeat, that is a confirmed hit agent Brand.’ A pilot said over her com system. The being buckled, kneeling down as if hurt. ‘You allright?’ Beast asked, helping Abigail back up. ‘I am thanks…’ she replied, finding her balance. ‘What were you thinking of bringing down a battle squadron of hover copters into the heart of San Francesco?!’ his expression to her changed, just as she suspected. ‘Nobody got hurt Hank.’ She glared. ‘And if so, I rather risk a entire city then see that thing destroy half the planet.’ ‘Holy…Agent, it’s still moving!’ the pilot shouted. The X-men blinked at the sight. The Collective just got up, levitating. ‘I thought that thing was supposed to give us a 15 minute window!’ Abigail reloaded her gun. ‘Seems I was misinformed….’ Hank noted. ‘I see I cannot persuade you Peter Rasputin…’ The Collective spoke. ‘And they say I have tunnel vision…’ Time-Warrior grunted. The Collective raised his hand, the X-men ready themselves for battle. Suddenly the lights of the city went off, casting it in darkness. ‘Ah hell…..’ Loam mutterd. ‘Didn’t that game Dead Space start out like this?’ Molly went back to back to the white gorilla. ‘As long he aint summon’ zombies we should be already…’ Logan sniffed. ‘Aw hell…’ ‘What is…’ Time-Wariror asked, getting his blades back out, hearing gurgling noises. ‘ah fu**….’ He groaned. ‘What are you three girls doing, lit up this place!’ Loam shouted, his skin coverd in tarmac again. The girls lit up their bodies, hovering around the group. The less experienced members of the group were terrified at the sight. Decaying corpses, their internal organs hanging out, their limbs barely in their sockets and those red lifeless eyes that peered out in the dark, filled with hunger. ‘Logan…’ George whispered ‘Yeh gargan?’ .’Do the same thing we did in Genosha?’ Wolverine nodded SNIKKING his claws back up. With a mighty shout Wolverine leaped into the hordes on his side, Time-warrior on his. It went fast, but brutal. Logan cut them to ribbons whilst Tw sliced their heads off, using his powers at the same time to let the corpses decay faster. ‘The hell they get these bodies from?!’ Logan asked out loud. ‘Recognise some of their clothing…local cemetery.’ George concluded. ‘ He must’ve summoned them from there.’ Jason and Bolgani let out their battle roars, jumping in. Jason was not afraid. He fought to safe his little girl, to help these people who would protect them, but there was also a deeper side…his animal side that needed to come out, vent out his anger. As if possessed he tore through the surviving undead from the combined Wolverine and Time-warrior assault. Bolgani to let his animal side out, tearing through the undead. He looked back, seeing Molly was still in shock..three dark figures creeping behind her. He growled leaping over her, snapping and braking necks as he went. He relaxed for a moment, turning back into his human form, that of a wakanda young male. ‘Molly?’ he said, holding her shoulders. ‘ Molly you allright?’. She looked up. ‘ Gabe..?’ ‘It’s mine.’ He smiled. ‘ you allright, you froze up back there.’ ‘Sorry…I just never.seen..’ ‘Talk later!’ Loam tackled a group of undead, punching their heads and limbs off. ‘Hold the line X-men!’ Molly nodded, using her water powers to slice her way through the remaining undead, Bolgani covering her back, turning back into a white gorilla. Colossus during the carnage was about to join in, but the Collective stood in front of him. ‘You will not win this fight.’ Peter glared. ‘I do not wish to…’ The golden man replied. He raised his hand, showing the face of a young woman with astral projection. ‘If you wish to save her…follow me to Breakworld….’ Peter was stunned, for he recognised the face of the young girl….Kitty Pryde. ‘Kitty….’ He mumbled. The lights went back on, lighting the entire street. The X-man stood among a heap of undead bodies, no sign of the Collective. ‘Ah hell I was about to break my record…’ Logan snikt his claws back in. ‘how many you got?’ Tw put his swords away. ’29.’Logan replied. ‘you?.’ ’18.’ ‘You owe me a beer.’ Wolverine grinned. ‘Sure looks like it.’ George replied. Logan stopped grinning when he saw Peter’s face. ‘You allright Pete?’ Logan placed a hand on the Russian’ shoulder. ‘I saw her Logan…’ ‘Saw who bub?’ ‘Kitty….he has kitty.’ The Peak 2 (S.W.O.R.D HQ) 09.45 The next day. ‘Right ladies and gentlemen listen up.’ Agent brand briefed the team from last night. She stood at the ehad of the table, with Hank Mccoy to her right in his traditional lab coat and glasses. Everybody on the team got their X-men costumes on….including Jason Tarq, code named ‘Minotaur’. ‘First off thank you for joining me here this morning….’ ‘You teleported us whilst I was having a shower…’ George growled. ‘That’s a image I want to forget…’ Molly shuddered. ‘What, me having a shower,’ ‘No, you be naked.’ ‘Hey I let you know me wife thinks im a se-‘ ‘Gargan please not now.’ Tony rubbed his forehead. ‘It’s to early…’ Hank coughed, the room falling silint. ‘Thank you Hank…as I was saying, thank you for being able to be here, from what I was able to piece together…’ Abigail wiped her green glasses. ‘We’re in big sh*t.’ ‘When aren’t we?’ Bolgani pointed out. ‘When Colossus pointed out Breakworld I tried to contact my SWORD team there…no contact whatsoever.’ ‘We have reason to believe The Collective has taken out the garrison there and re instated Kruun as the powerlord.’ Beast addressed the room, clicking a button on the table, a video message showing. It showed the image of a green skinned alien with thin eyebrows and a reptilian look. ‘I am Powerlord Kruun and I have re-taken what is rightfully mine!’ it shouted, his cybernetic arm pointed at the video. ‘Breakworld belongs to me and to me alone, you will pay Earth for what you done to us…so come, Come you X-men, come you humans, we will welcome you with out open hand!’ The room went silent for a moment after the videolog ended. ‘is it me or did he lose weight?’ George pointed out, Molly giving a half hearted chuckle despite the direness of the situation. ‘You will be going with the three ships we were able to salvage and repair of the Skrull fleet in orbit after the invasion, your mission will be as followed, get to planetside, kick Kruun of his throne, re-open the gateway we made between Earth and Brekworld so we can send in reinforcements and Mister Fantastic and find out why the Collective is siding with Kruun.’ ‘And to find Kitty.’ Peter interjected. ‘if she’s there, we don’t know for sure.’ Beast replied. ‘Question, why doesn’t Richards come here himself?’ Loam asked. ‘He’s busy in a other dimension, but he should be done when you arrive planet side. Good, saddle up.’ So the X-men left the room, including Beast, save one.. ‘Urghm…Miss-‘ Jason raised his arm. ‘Agent Brand.’ ‘Right sorry agent…when do you think we’ll be back, I mean, my daughter…’ ‘You’ll be back before you know it, help us and we will uphold our end of the bargain.’ Jason nodded, going after his team. Jason passed George, who was having a phone call with his wife. ‘Hun, I was kidnapped by S.W.O.R.D, I couldn’t say no could….i know it’s Maria’s recital in three days….i’ll be there dont worry!’ Jason couldn’t help but feel jealous. ‘Yes I will…I love you to babe, tell the kids I love em…’ George sighed and hung up. ‘You allright bub?’ Logan walked up to Jason. ‘I’m fine thank you.’ Jason replied. ‘Good…nice job you did back there.’ Jason nodded. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll see yer little tyke back before you know it.’ ‘I just want to help…’ ‘You will bub.’ Logan grinned, walking away. ‘You will.’ Brooke and Aurick got on the ship, going to the cafeteria. ‘You seem relatively calm since this is your first space mission.’ Tranq commented, getting in line. ‘Meh, been to stranger places with Professor Mccoy.’ Qwerty replied, grabbing a brownie, much to the surprise of a SWORD grunt. ‘Like?’ Tranq blinked. ‘y’know, foreign countries, alternative universes….’ ‘Wow….’ ‘I know.’ Meanwhile at the dorms, Gabriel hanged upside down his hunkbed. ‘want to talk about it?’ he asked Molly who was busy reading. ‘Bout what?’ ‘You freezing up back there.’ ‘I just happened once Gabe.’ ‘Breakworld is dangerous Molly, people get killed there for jaywalking.’ ‘I wont freeze up again!’ ‘Allright….just making sure.’ ‘….first space travel here.’ ‘Same…’ Gabriel replied truthfully, landing on his feet after a black flip. ‘You nervous?’ The Wakandian asked. Molly nodded. ‘Want me to get Tranq?’ ‘Neah.’ The water bender smiled. ‘As long you’re here I’ll be fine.’ Gabriel couldn’t help but smile. ‘Thanks.’ ‘You sure we can trust Colossus Hank?’ Abigail looked at the charts one last time as the ship left the dock. ‘He’s a X-men Abigail, he’ll do his duty.’ Hank checked the newest feed on Breakworld. ‘He could break ranks, trying to find her.’ Abigail put the charts away. ‘He would….and if he would, I cannot blame him.’ Beast said. Brand took a look at her boyfriend. ’Why?’ she asked. ‘Wouldn’t you do the same for me, or me for you?’ He said, walking out of the room. She remained silent, looking at the stars. Peter was meditating, TRIED to meditate. Kurt said it helped to calm the mind. It did…most of the time. Right now he couldn’t stop thinking what the collective said to him. ‘If you wish to save her…follow me to Breakworld….’ He had to find her…he HAD to. TBC |
|
|
|
| Gorvar | Apr 14 2009, 01:49 AM Post #14 |
|
Self claimed fanfic critic.
|
Comments allowed ^^ |
|
|
|
| Anne | Apr 15 2009, 12:46 PM Post #15 |
New X-Man
|
Excuse me for getting all girlie, but I'm seeing some super cute stuff already.  As usual, excellent job! This is fantastic. I can't wait to see what comes next! |
|
|
|
| Gorvar | Apr 15 2009, 04:03 PM Post #16 |
|
Self claimed fanfic critic.
|
Thanks ^^ I'll try to get Chapter 3 up tommorow. |
|
|
|
| Gorvar | Apr 16 2009, 05:12 PM Post #17 |
|
Self claimed fanfic critic.
|
'Unfinished business' Part 3 of 6. Written by Gorvar Edited by Tempestdog Unique forum Characters created by Tempest dog, Gorvar, Brian Knippenberg and Anne. X-men and other Marvel characters belong to Marvel. Earth’s only hope is something Spectacular. Team Roster Anthony Durgrath aka Loam: can turn himself into the element earth. George Gargan aka Time-Warrior: limited manipulation of space and time. Aurick Taylor aka Qwerty: ability to hack and control any computer system. Brooke Davis aka Tranq: can calm down the enemy into a false sense of security. Gabriel Harrison aka Bolgani: can turn into a great white ape. Jason Traq aka Minotaur: can turn into a beast with incredible power. Molly Dylan aka Sprite: can manipulate water. The Marino sister: have a multitude of powers. Logan aka Wolverine: adamantium claws and healing factor Peter Rasputin aka Colossus: metal skin. Hank Mccoy aka Beast: High IQ and acrobatic skills Abigail Brand aka Agent Brand: can flare up her hands. What happened previously: The Collective, a being come into existence by the results of M-day, has attacked San Francesco to find Colossus. With the other X-men un aviable, it was up to a random group of mutants with three normal X-men and a S.W.O.R.D battle squadron to defend the city and their team-mate. During the fight the being revealed to Colossus his deceased lover Kitty Pryde, aka Shadowcat, is still alive and being held on Breakworld. 'Unfinished business' Part 3: D-day. Planet Breakworld 14.49 local Time Citadel of the re-instated Powerlord Kruun. The throne room was in a state of high activity. Minions brought the scanners back on-line, the throne being rebuild just in time for the Pwoerlord’s return. The room fell silent as the giant doors opened, Kruun glaring at everyone, passing by, his cybernetic arm making noises as he moved it. His subjects bowed before him , looking up to their great leader as he sat on his throne. ‘Leave.’ He commanded with a stern voice, the minions leaving the room as soon as possible. When the giant doors closed the powerlord closed his eyes, enjoying the victory. ‘It is good to see you back on the Throne Powerlord…’ a voice echoed through the room. The powerlord was no coward, nor a fool, there was no shame in fear, as long you do not show it. ‘Did you do it?’ Kruun asked, his eyes staring at the doors. ‘Yes…’ the voice replied. Slowly the room began to shake heavily, tables falling over, windows shattering, a sudden wind picking up several pieces of debris. Slowly a figure began to emerge, it’s golden coating almost blinding. ‘they will be here shortly…’ the golden figure replied. ‘And we will be waiting as planned…and so will our asset.’ Kruun grinned, seeing the second smaller figure standing behind the Collective. A hour later Several light-years from Breakworld SWORD attack fleet. The ‘Vertigo’ Star spotting deck George laid down on a chair, resting his head on his arms. ‘Y’know….’ He started to Logan. ‘ This reminds me of Battlestar Galactica.’ Logan was drinking a beer, enjoying the star passing by like rain on a car window. ‘How so Gargan?’ ‘Well, we’re in space, except we’re fighting aliens instead of Cylons, go attack a planet instead of running away, and none of us is a spy….in fact, this isn’t like Battlestar Galactica…’ ‘Maybe you should ask Hank if Brand’ spine lits up if they’re havin’ a good time.’ Logan grinned. George gasped. ‘You watched Battlestar Galactica!’ ‘The first 30 minutes…’ Logan admitted, taking a sip. ‘Which raises another good question, if Beast and Brand have kids, how will they look like?’ George asked out loud. ‘probebly the same like normal kids I guess…what’ya think bub?’ ‘I’m thinking Cookie Monster from Sesame street…’ ‘Wouldn’t Brand’s green hair make it more like Oscar, except less grouchy?’ Logan said between sips. ‘I don’t know what’s weirder, you actually having this conversation with me or the image of Beast and Brand having se-‘ The alarm blared, the light on the ship changing red. Everywhere the SWORD personnel started to run, grabbing weapons from the armoury. ‘All hands, Battle stations, repeat, all hands..’ The public announcers echoed through the ship. ‘The hell is goin’ on?’ Logan growled. ‘Logan…’ TW pointed outside the window. Wolverine blinked as suddenly large Breakworld ships appeared out of nowhere, in ramming speed towards the SWORD fleet. The ‘Vertigo’ Captain’s deck Abigail ‘s thoughts pulled in hundred directions. Where did these ships come from? How did they know they were coming so soon? And why didn’t anyone on Breakworld respond? ‘Open fire all batteries!’ the green haired agent shouted. ‘Deploy the fighters, tell security to get ready for boarders, get the X-men and the ground crew and tell them to go for the escape pods!’ Her hopes rested with these super heroes. Three of them been there before, know Breakworld and helped stop Kruun before. ‘Hostile ships are not deploying fighters Agent!’ The helmsmen shouted back. No fighters? ‘Allright, tell the fighters to concentrate on the engines and the helm’s deck, I don’t want those ships anywhere near our fleet!’ ‘Yes agent!’ Which would be easier said then done. 20 breakworld boarding ships against 3 salvaged skrull ones. Best chance SWORD got was to get in Breakworld orbit and launch the pods before the boarders took over the ship. The doors behind her opened, revealing the form of her blue furred lover and his sidekick Qwerty. ‘Hostile ships?’ Beast asked, standing by her side. ‘What do you think Professor?’ Qwerty replied. ‘We’re planning to get you X-men planet wise like last time Hank.’ Abigail stood motionless, crossing her arms. ‘Best you go to the nearest Escape pod.’ ‘But what about-‘ ‘Go!’ Brand shouted. ‘We don’t have time for this!’ Beast paused. Then he grabbed her arms briskly, and pulled her to him. Before she could object the blue furred X-man kissed her deeply. Brand returned the kiss for a moment, Qwerty and the rest of the crew looking away. ‘I will see you planetside, allright?’ Beast asked. Brand nodded, having lost words. As the X-men left for the pods, Brand’s mind went back to the battle. Maybe she should’ve told him…. ‘Agent, Incoming!!!!’ Dormitory Deck ‘What’s going on?!’ Molly grabbed a Sword’s grunt arm. ‘We’re being boa-‘ The Ship shook heavily, the sound of metal crashing ringing throughout the ship. ‘Attention, we’re being boarded, ground teams and x-men move to the escape pods!’ the pa sounded. ‘That a answer for you Molly?’ Gabriel asked, putting his jacket on. ‘That, and those guys!’ she pointed a bit further away. Bolgani gasped, the boarders, armed to the teeth, heading their way. Molly raised her hands, water blowing out of the pipes above the ceiling, hitting the boarders straight on. ‘Well done Molly.’ Gabe smiled, running with her and the grunt to the nearest escape pod. When they reached the corner, more boarders showed up, cutting down any who stood in their way. Bolgani let out a loud roar, changing into his ape like self, charging ahead. He tackled the boarders down, punching and swinging away, dodging lasers as they went. His primal side took over, letting it guide him to safety, until a shreak brought him back. ‘Molly?!’ he turned back into his human form, looking behind him. Sprite was kneeling over the grunt, trying in vain to heal him. A stray laser hit the grunt in the head. ‘Molly…’ ‘’He took the hit for me!’ she shouted. ‘He took the hit for me!’ ‘Molly!’ The waterbender looked up to the wakandaian mutant, her tears still flowing. ‘There is nothing we can do for him now, we have to go!’ She nodded, getting back up and following her fried to the nearest escape pod. The ‘Vertigo’ Star Spotting deck. 10 minutes later. Wolverine and Time-Warrior were covered in blood by the time they left the deck. Wolverine’sclaws and Tw’s katana’s were dripping still, leaving a trail on th clea floor. ‘ So, Escape pods…like Star Wars?’ Tw asked, slowing down time for the outside world, remaining the same for the two Avengers/X-men/X-force. ‘Sounds like…’ Logan let his claws do the talking. ‘What about the others?’ Logan stopped in front of a pod, opening it.’They are X-men, they’ll make it.’ Corridor 15-c Jason ran as fast as he could. Bowling over any boarders he saw. On his back he carried the unconscious Martino sisters. He didn’t know what took them out, but without them, it was best to get away from the ship. One day of being a X-men and he was already lost. He could fel his primal self taking over, wanting to tear everything to shreds. But one word kept him alive, one word made him go on. ‘Poofy.’ He smiled, seeing his daughter’s smile in his mind. ‘I WILL get out of here!’ he thought. Something called out for him to stop, so he did. When he stopped, a boarder flew through the wall, Loam, now covered in what seemed like some sort of metal like skin, walked in through, Tranq following. ‘You ok there mate?’ Loam asked. ‘Didn’t see ya there.’ ‘It’s allright.’ Jason replied. ‘ in fact, I almost said ‘Crickey.’ Tranq chuckled. ‘Your spending to much time with George.’ She smiled. ‘Obviously…’ Loam groaned. The ship shook heavily. ‘Hull breach at star spotting deck, repeat, hull breach..’ The Pa announced. ‘This ship is tearin’ apart.’ Tony concluded. ‘ hurry this way!’ he shouted, leading the X-men to the nearest pod. The ‘Vertigo’ Captain’s deck. ‘Agent: we’re having several hull breaches all over the ship!’ one of the monitor men shouted. The ship was going to blow in 10 minutes at this rate. ‘How are the other ships?’ she asked. ‘I lost contact with the ‘Immovable’ and the ‘Wasp’ 10 minutes ago, but my scanners report escape pods planet bound.’ She could relax for a moment, at least plan B was in motion. She grabbed her gun when the door of the bridge began to buckle. ‘They found us!’ A security guard shouted, pulling his weapon. It was to late now…she could never tell Hank of what she knew. A whole life together with him, gone. Worst of all, she would break her promise to see him planet side. Well if they were going to kill her, it would be one long walk through hell for them. She grabbed her gun, aiming it at the door. ‘Hold the line men!’ she shouted. ‘Buy as much time as you can!’ The men in the room held their weapons close, aiming it at the door. Some muttered a final prayer. As the door got pummelled open, the room rest easy. Colossus was here. ‘Agent Brand, the crew is off the ship, hurry!’ Maybe she would keep her promise after all. Break world Orbit 15.15 local time As the ships entered the atmosphere, Kruun couldn’t help but grin. The humans would pay for his humiliation a few months ago, they would pay fir it with their lives and if the stranger keeps his word their planet. He knew the x-men would be scattered, but he already made certain all of them would be found soon. ‘And so the game begins…’ TBC |
|
|
|
| Anne | Apr 17 2009, 12:32 AM Post #18 |
|
New X-Man
|
Gorvar, I'm your biggest fan. This is so exciting! |
|
|
|
| Gorvar | Apr 17 2009, 02:33 AM Post #19 |
|
Self claimed fanfic critic.
|
Thanks Anne ^^ Personally i think this is one of my less good issues and i'l ltry to step it up with some charecture develpment in the next one. |
|
|
|
| Anne | Apr 18 2009, 01:14 AM Post #20 |
|
New X-Man
|
I love character development. But I don't think your story is lacking in any way so far.  Keep up the good work!
|
|
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Short Stories and Poetry · Next Topic » |
6:42 PM Feb 11